So a couple of weeks ago, Kyle and I stopped at a favourite restaurant of our on the cottage drive, Deb’s Restaurant on the Tynandaga reserve on Old #2 Highway in Shannonville. While it is not on the actual route, it is a detour we often take for gas or other purchases. Good home style food, generous portions,and no taxes are all part of the appeal. Be forewarned though, as it is on the reserve, non smoking legislation does not apply and you will find lots and lots of smokers. (They do have a no smoking section, but it is kind of like the no peeing section of the pool.)
One of the side effects of this round of chemo is my inability to regulate my temperature. I go from comfortable, to freezing to over- heated in the blink of an eye. As a result, when even we go inside a building, I keep my hat on, sliding it onto my shoulders when I get too warm, keeping it nearby ready to put back on my head when I cool down. It is important to remember this.
We had our dinner, were visited by the new chef who brought Kyle a tasting plate of the daily special, lasagne, and got our bill. While Kyle finished up, I headed off to pay and visit the ladies room before hitting the road. Anyway, I had finished up my business and flushed. As I turned around the toilet made a strange noise, and when I turned and looked, the hat that had been resting in my shoulder was laying in the bowl. I quickly grabbed the tie, and rescued it, rinsing the wet parts before carrying it out by the still dry tie. I asked the girl at the cash for a bag to carry it in and threw it in the truck. No big deal, I could wash it at the cottage.
After 5 days at the cottage, we returned home for my next treatment. In talking to my good friend Linda, I learned that she had the flu, and was suffering from it. She was very tired.
I regaled her with my hat in the toilet story and when I told her about asking the clerk for a bag, her response left me dumbfounded. “How was a plastic bag going to keep your head warm?” We both laughed over her misunderstanding, her tears finally stopped rolling down her cheek, we talked for a while longer and said goodnight.
The next day she emailed saying she was feeling a little better, and had been to the grocery story but was really tired. She told me she had not slept well the night before as kept on waking up all night with fits of giggles, but at least the tears had stopped. I replied to her, telling her she was a bitch when she was sick.
A week later, she was finally feeling better and we got together for coffee. When I got there, she presented me with a fleece neck wrap. It could be worn as a neck warmer, rolled and used as a ear muff, pulled up at the back and over the head for a hat that would not fall in the toilet, and finally, with an elastic holding one end closed, as a toque.
And as her daughter told us, “It’s better than a bag.”
~Inez
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Why I Started This Blog
I have decided to try and recall some of the entries I wrote in my head.
One, is why did I decide to do this.
When I started this journey, I knew as little about cancer and it's treatment as most people. And I found people had questions, but were afraid to ask. One girlfriend asked if I thought my cancer came back last spring because I had a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy. She was very hesitant to ask, but wondered what she would do if it was her decision. I told her that given the size of the tumour, and the involvement of the lymph nodes, a mastectomy would have make little or no difference. And my opinion had changed as a couple of years ago, I was astounded that a woman I knew chose a lumpectomy over a mastectomy.
This blog, and my openness gave her somewhere to ask. I don't claim to have all (or many answers), I hope that this gives people somewhere to start with their questions.
Also, we watch those around us go through things, and we don't know what to do. We don't want to ask questions, or to intrude or appear nosy. But hopefully by writing, more of us will be able to talk to our friends about what they are going through, and listen to them. And maybe like me, their friend's questions will open doors for them.
Also, I got tiring, telling the same story over and over again. And remembering who I had told, or who I had sent an email to got more difficult with the effects of chemo brain ( the mental fog that affects chemo patients).
~Inez
One, is why did I decide to do this.
When I started this journey, I knew as little about cancer and it's treatment as most people. And I found people had questions, but were afraid to ask. One girlfriend asked if I thought my cancer came back last spring because I had a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy. She was very hesitant to ask, but wondered what she would do if it was her decision. I told her that given the size of the tumour, and the involvement of the lymph nodes, a mastectomy would have make little or no difference. And my opinion had changed as a couple of years ago, I was astounded that a woman I knew chose a lumpectomy over a mastectomy.
This blog, and my openness gave her somewhere to ask. I don't claim to have all (or many answers), I hope that this gives people somewhere to start with their questions.
Also, we watch those around us go through things, and we don't know what to do. We don't want to ask questions, or to intrude or appear nosy. But hopefully by writing, more of us will be able to talk to our friends about what they are going through, and listen to them. And maybe like me, their friend's questions will open doors for them.
Also, I got tiring, telling the same story over and over again. And remembering who I had told, or who I had sent an email to got more difficult with the effects of chemo brain ( the mental fog that affects chemo patients).
~Inez
Sunday, January 23, 2011
More treatments
It has been a long time since I have updated you. I often write updates in my head, in bed, late at night. But of course these do not appear here.
There have been 3 more treatments since my last update. Originally Dr. Z said he would probably do 3 treatments, but somewhere along the way he decided it would be 6 treatments. This was in spite of the fact that my CT scan had been positive. Anyway,on to my treatments.
My 4th treatment, in early December, was the absolute worst, considering the first round back in 2008 and the previous 3 treatments. The actual treatment itself was uneventful, and proceeded normally, without incident. As the week went on however, it was clear that this treatment was different.
By the end of the week I had a number of strange effects. First, the skin on my fingertips thickened, until it felt like I had dipped my fingers in glue. Also, I had very little sense of touch. Within 5 days, they peeled off, in big pieces. And the strange mouth feel, with everything including water, feeling furry returned. It is hard to explain the effect, but once you experience it, you will never forget it. Drinking anything became uncomfortable, and of course you need to keep well hydrated following any treatment.
Food also lost all taste of salt. I could still taste sweet, so chocolate bars (m-m-m Big Turks are my favourite) became a staple. We had 2 special dinners to attend, so the food was interesting. Following the first one, rick's 60th birthday, I asked Kyle if the dinner had been any good. I had mislead one of my fellow dinners by telling her you could not taste the shrimp in a dish, forgetting that I could not taste anything anyway.
The second dinner was our family Christmas dinner. Again, I could not taste anything, although I did eat a full dinner, trying everything. I was assured everything was yummy.
Kyle and Greg made a trip to the cottage to finish a couple of jobs, and to deliver a batch of presents etc for Christmas. While they were gone, I slept a lot and ate very little. When you are not hunger, and there is no one to cook for, you tend not to eat. This probably lead to my sleeping a lot (10 - 12 hours a day).
By the week before Christmas, my energy levels were a little better and my taste had returned, but I found that my appetite was greatly reduced. I managed to eat a little of Christmas dinner, sampling everything, but not eating very much.
And of course, it was time for my next treatment again. Kyle, Greg and I returned from the cottage on Wednesday the 29th and I saw the doctor and received my treatment on the 30th. Kyle and I returned to the cottage that evening. We invited Kevin and Gloria up for New Year's.
By the end of that weekend my taste had disappeared again. This time however, because there was always someone around, I was cooking for someone else and forced myself to eat every day. Mornings I generally had a bowl of cereal, and I at least a little supper each day. I don't know if I was eating because I felt better, or if I felt better cause I was eating, but this round was much easier than the last. So I guess I learned that regardless of whether or not I want to eat, I have to. Again my finger tips peeled but not to the extent of the prior treatment.
This brings us to this weeks treatment. Again, the treatment itself was pretty uneventful. Karen came with me and we went off to breakfast after I was connected for my infusion and then we returned for the the afternoon's events.
While my treatment was uneventful, two of my fellow patients did not have such an easy day. One patient was the father of a past co-worker from Block. She came over and visited with us, because as she said, her dad was so zonked out on Morphine and benadryl, he did not even know if she was there or not. The other patient had a bad reaction, his blood pressure falling drastically and his collapsing on the way to the bathroom. Karen ended up assisting the nurse until her (the nurse's) panicked calls brought her co workers to assist her.
As for further treatments, I am scheduled for one more, but I do have another CT Scan scheduled for next week. Dr. Z indicated that 8 is usually the maximum nuber of treatments, as thay are so draining on the patient, so regardless of what the CT Scan shows, there will probably be only 2 more treatments for some time.
So that brings us to today, Sunday. Things are starting to taste furry again and salt taste is gone, but I have been eating. I will keep on drinking water and get the sleep I need.
Oh, and one final thing. I have formally taken a leave of absence from H & R Block this year. The door is open if I change my mind, but for now I am OK with not working. I t is weird not teaching, or attending classes, and I am sure the first week of February will be weird, but I need to take care of me for a while.
~Inez
There have been 3 more treatments since my last update. Originally Dr. Z said he would probably do 3 treatments, but somewhere along the way he decided it would be 6 treatments. This was in spite of the fact that my CT scan had been positive. Anyway,on to my treatments.
My 4th treatment, in early December, was the absolute worst, considering the first round back in 2008 and the previous 3 treatments. The actual treatment itself was uneventful, and proceeded normally, without incident. As the week went on however, it was clear that this treatment was different.
By the end of the week I had a number of strange effects. First, the skin on my fingertips thickened, until it felt like I had dipped my fingers in glue. Also, I had very little sense of touch. Within 5 days, they peeled off, in big pieces. And the strange mouth feel, with everything including water, feeling furry returned. It is hard to explain the effect, but once you experience it, you will never forget it. Drinking anything became uncomfortable, and of course you need to keep well hydrated following any treatment.
Food also lost all taste of salt. I could still taste sweet, so chocolate bars (m-m-m Big Turks are my favourite) became a staple. We had 2 special dinners to attend, so the food was interesting. Following the first one, rick's 60th birthday, I asked Kyle if the dinner had been any good. I had mislead one of my fellow dinners by telling her you could not taste the shrimp in a dish, forgetting that I could not taste anything anyway.
The second dinner was our family Christmas dinner. Again, I could not taste anything, although I did eat a full dinner, trying everything. I was assured everything was yummy.
Kyle and Greg made a trip to the cottage to finish a couple of jobs, and to deliver a batch of presents etc for Christmas. While they were gone, I slept a lot and ate very little. When you are not hunger, and there is no one to cook for, you tend not to eat. This probably lead to my sleeping a lot (10 - 12 hours a day).
By the week before Christmas, my energy levels were a little better and my taste had returned, but I found that my appetite was greatly reduced. I managed to eat a little of Christmas dinner, sampling everything, but not eating very much.
And of course, it was time for my next treatment again. Kyle, Greg and I returned from the cottage on Wednesday the 29th and I saw the doctor and received my treatment on the 30th. Kyle and I returned to the cottage that evening. We invited Kevin and Gloria up for New Year's.
By the end of that weekend my taste had disappeared again. This time however, because there was always someone around, I was cooking for someone else and forced myself to eat every day. Mornings I generally had a bowl of cereal, and I at least a little supper each day. I don't know if I was eating because I felt better, or if I felt better cause I was eating, but this round was much easier than the last. So I guess I learned that regardless of whether or not I want to eat, I have to. Again my finger tips peeled but not to the extent of the prior treatment.
This brings us to this weeks treatment. Again, the treatment itself was pretty uneventful. Karen came with me and we went off to breakfast after I was connected for my infusion and then we returned for the the afternoon's events.
While my treatment was uneventful, two of my fellow patients did not have such an easy day. One patient was the father of a past co-worker from Block. She came over and visited with us, because as she said, her dad was so zonked out on Morphine and benadryl, he did not even know if she was there or not. The other patient had a bad reaction, his blood pressure falling drastically and his collapsing on the way to the bathroom. Karen ended up assisting the nurse until her (the nurse's) panicked calls brought her co workers to assist her.
As for further treatments, I am scheduled for one more, but I do have another CT Scan scheduled for next week. Dr. Z indicated that 8 is usually the maximum nuber of treatments, as thay are so draining on the patient, so regardless of what the CT Scan shows, there will probably be only 2 more treatments for some time.
So that brings us to today, Sunday. Things are starting to taste furry again and salt taste is gone, but I have been eating. I will keep on drinking water and get the sleep I need.
Oh, and one final thing. I have formally taken a leave of absence from H & R Block this year. The door is open if I change my mind, but for now I am OK with not working. I t is weird not teaching, or attending classes, and I am sure the first week of February will be weird, but I need to take care of me for a while.
~Inez
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